Handling a narcissistic ex-spouse when it comes to child support

Handling a narcissistic ex-spouse when it comes to child support

Any marriage works best when a couple’s personalities are complementary or compatible in some other way. Unfortunately, some spouses think so highly of themselves that they may be considered narcissists. It is not unusual that a marriage with this kind of spouse ends in divorce. While a split from a narcissist can feel like a ray of sunshine. Unfortunately, the ex-spouse spouse may very well encounter that narcissistic former partner when it comes to child support, whether in Illinois or elsewhere in the country.

Delinquent payments spell trouble for most custodial parents. However, according to some experts, this behavior is typical when it comes to a narcissist. For the custodial spouse to keep a level head and temper, understanding a narcissist’s mind-set is critical. Narcissists often strive more for admiration than for love. They also may tend to surround themselves with people they judge to be inferior to them, in order to feel superior.

Because young children are heavily dependent on adults, narcissists often prefer their company. Narcissists also like the idea of smaller and younger versions of themselves.

How does the profile of a narcissist apply to child support? Although legally obligated to pay support, he or she will most likely avoid paying on time to portray the payment as an act of generosity rather than an obligation.

To prevent this behavior, psyching out the narcissist is the best course of action. Payments should be tied directly to a child’s expenses so a tardy payment means that parent is delinquent. Avoiding shame can motivate a narcissist to make payments on time. In addition, stroking a narcissist’s ego with compliments when he or she makes a payment will also help.

If all else fails, a parent should consult with a family law professional to draft a detailed child-support decree. The family court system is set up to help these children.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Who’s Not Honoring Me Now? How Your Narcissistic Ex Really Feels About Child Support,” Cristina Pesoli, Jan. 23, 2014